To my mother, to all mothers….

I did not know her birth date. When I grew up I used to ask, ‘Ma, when were you born?’ She used to smile and say, ‘Would you celebrate my birthday?’ I felt bad and kept quite. She then used to embrace me and say, ‘For a mother, there is no date that you need to remember. I just wish you are happy, you are safe, and you succeed in life. I don’t need a birthday; if you like to wish me you can do that whenever you want.’
Years later, I came to know that my mother lost her mother at a very young age, and she could go to school for only 6/7 years. She was married when she was only 16, to a man of 25. In fact, she had no ‘childhood’. At the age of 17, she became a mother and at the age of 45, she became a widow. My father left (who died at the age of 54) her with the responsibility of raising their children all by herself.
I think it was 1991/92 when we started celebrating ‘Mothers’ Day’ in Bangladesh. Thanks to Anna Jarvis who started the campaign of celebrating ‘Mothers’ Day’— two years after her mother’s death she held a memorial service for her mother in 1907. In 1912, Anna Jarvis marked the ‘second Sunday in May’ as Mothers’ Day. In Bangladesh, after about eight decades, I thought of celebrating my mother’s birthday on the same day.
Lately, she used to say with a smile that we would get a day to remember her. We, even on that very day could not imagine that that day would come so soon! April 18 2008, the day came suddenly when I was in an official trip and my mother left us forever.
Ma, this May, second Sunday will come like every year, but I will not be able to visit you with a cake and say ‘Happy Mothers’ Day, Ma.’ I won’t be able to see that smiling face and you won’t say that I would have to take the first bite of the cake. Ma, whenever I used to leave the city, be it out of Dhaka or out of the country, I used to see you off and take doa from you. I still cannot ‘forgive’ myself for not doing that the last time as my flight was at a very early morning and I thought I would not disturb you that time. Ma, did you feel bad? I always feel like you left me with a disappointment! Ma, please forgive me, I never thought that you never would allow me to ‘disturb’ any more!
None of us have any idea about what happens afterlife, but I always pray for you Ma. May the Almighty grant you heavenly peace!
‘You gave the gift of life to me
And then in love, you set me free.
I thank you for your tender care,
For deep warm hugs and being there.
I hope that when you think of me
A part of you
You’ll always see …’
Dr Noor Mohammad
Via e-mail